


What we are pt 4

by AXEe



Series: What we are [4]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, trigger warning mentions of rape and torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8144098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AXEe/pseuds/AXEe
Summary: Secrets from the past very rarely stay in the shadows. AU of "Truth, Justice, and the American Way"





	1. Just hugs

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome to...wait for it...part _four_ of What we are, an AU of "Truth, Justice, and the American Way". As we began our journey a brief warning, as those of you who read part one know, in this 'verse Astra was raped in Fort Rozz by the guards. So, here goes (takes a deep breath) WARNING this story contains mentions of rape and torture, although NOT explicit or even detailed (no more detailed or explicit than the Holocaust parallels in "Strange Visitor From Another Planet), it's still there, just a warning, if that makes you uncomfortable (which it should if you're a sane person) then please don't read
> 
> Anyway, now onto the fic. To balance out the upcoming angst, here's some fluff, so much fluff you might just get cavities :-)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Too fast for freedom  
Sometimes it all falls down  
These chains never leave me  
I keep dragging them around  
\--Florence + the Machine “Delilah”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

I sighed I grabbed the remote and turned off the TV

“What’s with you?” I asked, Kara blinked

“Huh?” she asked, she hadn’t even noticed the TV turn off, wow

“You,” I insisted “I just asked if you wanted to go to Middle-earth and fight some Orcs and you just said ‘uh-huh’. What’s with you?” Kara sighed and burrowed deeper under the throw we were both wrapped in

“Lucy broke up with James” she finally said, I blinked and put down my ginger beer (non-alcoholic, of course)

“Wow,” I said “that’s…not totally unexpected,” I admitted “I mean after the whole mess with Indigo and her accidently finding out who you are," i reasoned "besides, I always knew that relationship would go busto,” I added, I frowned “wait, _she_ broke up with him?”

“Kaput,” Kara confirmed, she flopped back against the couch, the picture of lovesick misery “I feel guilty” she groaned

“Did James say that you were the reason?” I asked

“No, he said the exact opposite” I shrugged

“Well, then ‘guilt’ isn’t what you should be feeling,” I told her “try…hope” she shook her head

“I don’t want to be the rebound girl, Alex” she pouted

“Hey, rebound relationships can work” I insisted

“Name one” she dared me

“Me and Astra” Kara snorted

“Please, we all know that she and Non were barely married. Try again”

“Kim and Kanye” I jumped at Astra’s voice, I’d actually forgotten she was there. She doesn’t like most TV (except for Call the Midwife, she’s practically addicted to that one. Of course, so am I), so on most TV nights at Kara’s she just curls up in the big plushy armchair across from the couch (looking all cool and casual and hot as hell) and reads a book. Last week it had been _Pride and Prejudice_ , today it was _Jane Eyre_.

“I can’t believe you know that, Aunt Astra” Kara giggled

“I’m _embarrassed_ that you know that,” I said, I turned back to Kara “OK, look, you need to get in there and be the ‘let-him-know’ girl before another Lucy Lane swoops in and snatches him up,” I turned to Astra “and you, stop watching _TMZ_ , it’ll rot your brain” I told her, she just smirked at me

“Then perhaps you shouldn’t leave your television on that program almost constantly” she purred and then went back her book

“Well, no one says you have to watch it” I fired back

“Oh my god! Will you two stop…having sex with your eyes!” Kara exclaimed, frantically waving her hands, Astra looked up, frowning

“I thought the expression was ‘undressing each other with your eyes’?” she asked

“It is” I answered, equally confused, Kara huffed

“Not with you two it isn’t,” she grumbled as she grabbed the jumbo-sized bag of cheese puffs on the coffee table and shoved a handful of cheese puffs into her mouth “it’s not fair,” she complained, spewing bits of cheese puff everywhere (ew) “my _aunt_ and my _sister_ get to be all flirty, and sassy, and, I don’t even want to know _what_ , with each other and I’m just…argh!” she reached for the bag again

“Hey, come on, none of that,” I plucked the bag away from her and pulled her into a tight hug “no snacks, just hugs,” I waved to Astra, she smiled good-naturedly, put down the book, and joined us on the couch, sitting on Kara’s other side and wrapping her up into a hug as well “there,” I said as Astra and I both squeezed our arms around Kara “a Kara sandwich!” Kara laughed

“You guys! Not so tight! I can’t breath!”

“Agree to talk to James and we’ll let you go” Astra told her playfully

“OK!” Kara giggled

“Do you mean it?” I asked, pushing for all I was worth

“Yes” Kara rolled her eyes

“Really?” I asked “I’ll tickle you if aren’t serious” I threatened, Astra let out a delighted gasp 

“Oh! I’d forgotten how ticklish she was!” she exclaimed, grinning like she just remembered something absolutely wonderful

“Oh, she’s very ticklish,” I grinned “here, I’ll show you”

“NO!” Kara shrieked hysterically, pushing both of us away. Hard enough that I fell back against the couch and Astra fell off the couch. The stunned look on Kara’s face was priceless “oh my gosh! Aunt Astra, are you OK?” she asked, covering her mouth in shock even as she giggled. Astra sat up, grinning

“I’m fine, little one” she said

“Good,” Kara replied, before she suddenly grabbed a throw pillow and promptly hit Astra on the head with it “you suck!” she pouted, she turned and whapped me on the head too “so do you” she added. I grabbed the pillow from Kara and then hit Astra with it. She scowled at me and snatched the pillow away from me as she stood up, and for a second, I was afraid I’d ruined the game

Until she hit Kara on the head

“Aunt Astra! You’re supposed to hit her, not me!” Kara laughed

“Is that so?” Astra asked, feigning innocence “I apologize,” she turned and promptly whapped me on the head “is that satisfactory?” she asked sweetly

“No,” I grabbed another pillow (wow, I never realized just how many throw pillows Kara has until now) and threw it at Astra as hard as I could, hitting her right in the face “now it is” I finished, Astra just grinned and lightly tossed the pillow she was still holding aside and plopped down on the couch next to me. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a slow, toe-curling, hair-raising kiss

“Oh my god! Stop it!” Kara complained “I’ll talk to James! Just please stop! Ew! Ew!” she turned away, gagging

Astra and I just laughed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally was going to have the new leader of Fort Rozz burst in like Non did in the actual episode, but the potential for fluff was just too tempting


	2. Number One, Meet Number Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara meets Siobhan and Lucy gets mad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more fluff before we get into the angst and drama. Also the whole subplot with Maxwell Lord in the actual episode felt like it should have been its own story, so I'm going to assume that that particular plot already happened (including Max's release from the DEO) sometime between Parts Two and Three of What we are, but don't worry, he'll get what's coming to him

**Kara**

When I got to work the next day, Winn met me at the elevators; he was waiting for me actually

“Hi,” he said as he rushed over “look, we, we got a problem”

“I know,” I said “Ms. Grant is still mad at me for breaking up with Adam, even though that was, like, two months ago”

“Yes, I agree, she can really hold a grudge,” Winn nodded “but, I think, now, she’s really--”

“Its fine,” I interrupted, I really need to learn to listen more, by which I mean I need to learn to focus on things besides alien attacks “I know she’s mad,” I insisted “but look, Ms. Grant and I have been through a lot and---why is there a desk here?” I stopped and stared, there was a desk directly opposite from mine in front of Ms. Grant’s office “and how you pronounce that name?” I blinked at the nameplate which read ‘Siobhan Smythe’. I looked up the ding of Ms. Grant’s private elevator “good morning, Ms. Grant”

“Ker-iah,” she acknowledged “I see you’ve met Siobhan”

“Who?” I asked, a pretty brunette holding a mug of coffee walked over and shook my hand

“Good morning, Siobhan Smythe” she introduced herself, her smile never reached her eyes. I blinked at Ms. Grant

“You…pronounced that name…correctly” I squeaked

“Well, I could see that your job was beginning to strain your abilities,” Ms. Grant explained “so I took it upon myself to hire another assistant to help you,” she pointed to Siobhan Smythe “assistant number one, meet assistant number two”

“I’m…two?” I squeaked as Siobhan Smythe held out her mug to Ms. Grant

“Your coffee, Ms. Grant,” she said quickly “I hand-pressed it myself using beans grown in the shade of guava tress on Mt. Baru in Panama” I leapt forward

“Your latté, Ms. Grant! From Nooan’s, your favorite”

“Get Olsen and Lane in my office, I need someone to take notes” Ms. Grant ordered, taking the mug from Siobhan

“Uh, I got it” I said

“You cover the phones assistant number one, assistant number two come with me” Ms. Grant called out over her shoulder as they went into her office. Winn slowly walked over

“Uh, how long do you think Cat’s new mini-me will last?” he asked

“Not long,” I answered “Ms. Grant is just mad at me for breaking up with Adam, and so she hired someone new to get back at me,” I told him “I mean the poor girl is a pawn, really”

“Sure. Yeah” he clearly didn’t believe me

“No, I’m just going to…give her a chance” I said as I picked up the phone

“That’s Supergirl’s line,” Winn laughed “it’s OK for Kara Danvers to get a little jealous”

“I’m not jealous” I insisted, Winn nodded smugly

“You just broke you phone” I looked down at the receiver I’d just squished like a bug. OK, so maybe I was a little jealous. Just a little. I glanced back at Ms. Grant's office as James and Lucy walked in. I needed to know what was going on in there. I took a breath, I knew I was going to regret this

 _"There's a new superhero in National City,"_ I suddenly heard Ms. Grant say, I think I choked on my own spit _"now, I'm sure all three of you remember last week's cyber attack, and I'm sure you all remember Supergirl swooping in to save the day, but I doubt any of you remember that there was someone else out there saving cars and pedestrians,"_ there was click, like a keyboard _"now,"_ Ms. Grant continued _"who here besides me thinks that this little, tiny, grainy figure is the same woman who Supergirl chased up and down the city's skyline a few months back?"_ someone cleared their throat _"yes, Lucy?"_ Ms. Grant asked 

_"What do you want us to do?"_ Lucy asked

 _"Find out,"_ Ms. Grant snapped _"find out if this is the same woman, who she is, what she wants, and what her connection, if any, to Supergirl is"_ she took a breath _"any other questions? No? Then go"_ I turned my hearing down as Lucy and James walked out of Ms. Grant's office. James nodded politely at me, but Lucy stopped

"Can we talk?" she asked

"I'd be happy to help you, Ms. Lane," Siobhan stood up "Ms. Grant asked me to handle all matters relating to department heads," she explained "and also," she added "it'd be an honor working with someone of your integrity and reputation" oh my god was she flirting with Lucy, not that there's anything wrong with that, but yikes!

"Maybe some other time," Lucy answered politely, she looked back over at me "Kara?" she nodded to James office. Once we inside, Lucy shut the door and sighed in frustration

"I'm sorry" I apologized, Lucy sighed and looked over at James

"Just...all right, answer me this, is it the same woman?" she asked

"Yes" I answered, Lucy

"And this woman is also your aunt Astra?" I nodded

"Yes"

"And you two," she gestured between James and me "knew that all along?"

"Yes," James this time "look, Lucy," he began "I know how much you hate liars, but look at it this way, you're not actually lying, because, officially, you don't even know Astra exists" he pointed out. Lucy sighed

"Yeah," she grumbled "that makes it so much better"


	3. From the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Astra meet the Jailer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be angst

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sometimes I wish for falling  
Wish for the release  
Wish for falling through the air  
To give me some relief  
Because falling’s not the problem  
When I’m falling, I’m at peace  
It’s only when I hit the ground  
It causes all the grief

\--Florence + the Machine “Falling”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

“We got a rogue,” J’onn announced as he wheeled a monitor over to the center of the room “Fort Rozz prisoner number 2444, imprisoned in Fort Rozz for arms theft and murder,” he nodded to Astra “Agent In-ze?” I watched as Astra stepped forward, looking commanding and authoritative in her new DEO duds. Yum.

“This individual is a ‘Cry’noi’,” she explained “don’t be fooled by his appearance,” she nodded to the mug shot which changed from a bland, ordinary-looking guy into something with sunken eyes, hollowed out cheeks, spiky, porcupine-like hair, and pale grey-green skin “his species feeds off rotting flesh and can be extremely aggressive if they feel threatened, which means that he will mostly likely fight rather than flee,” she explained

“He’s been hiding in National City under the human alias of ‘Gabriel Philips’,” J’onn picked up “surveillance just spotted him yesterday entering an abandoned warehouse downtown, where we suspect he’s been storing his food”

“Use extreme caution when approaching and apprehending,” Astra pitched in “they bite”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I took a breath as I got out of the SUV, Astra—in full tac gear, although she didn’t really need it—climbing out after me. The warehouse was old, dingy, and kind of small. I nodded to Astra as we assembled around the entrance. Technically, she outranked me, being a general and all, but I had seniority in the DEO, so she quietly nodded and got into position with the rest of the strike team, deferring to my authority

“On my three,” I ordered quietly “one, two, three” we burst in, moving down a staircase that led into a garage of some kind. Old car parts, oil drums, and even a rusted out car body, were scattered around the place. That’s when we heard it

“Help me,” it was quiet, whispered. Rounding a corner we found our target, still in human form, chained to what was left of a car. He looked tired and scared, terrified even “help me, please,” he pleaded “he’s here!” he hissed, there was a metallic clunk and a large, armored figure slowly stepped out of the shadows. I heard a sudden, frightened gasp from my right, glancing over, I saw Astra go stiff, her eyes locked on our RoboCop wannabe

“No” she whispered, sounding like she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She looked absolutely terrified, and I was suddenly reminded how J’onn had frozen when we first encountered the White Martian, and I wondered who or what this guy was and why he had such an effect on Astra. RoboCop held out his arms, there was a hum, and two bright blue bolts of light suddenly shot from the armor’s gauntlets, hitting two agents in the chest

“Weapons free!” I ordered as we opened fire, which suddenly seemed to snap Astra back to reality. She suddenly dropped her rifle and charged, just slamming into the guy and started hammering him, completely ignoring the fact that we were still shooting at him as she did, thank god we weren't using kryptonite ammunition. There no finesse, no skill, no logic to her attack, she just started hitting him with a terrifying kind of primal rage, like a wild animal, hitting everywhere she could reach.

It was like something out of The Terminator, Astra's attack didn’t even seem to phase the guy, nether did the bullets ricocheting off them both, he just blocked her blows and then, when he found an opening, swung back an arm and just backhanded her across the room like she was a rag doll, and then started firing at us again as he headed towards ‘Gabriel Philips’. Once he reached 'Phillips' he grabbed the chains that 'Phillips' were tied up with and just leapt up, smashing through the ceiling, ‘Phillips’ terrified scream trailing behind them

_“Agent Danvers, report!”_ J’onn demanded over the comm. I took a breath

“We were ambushed sir, the target’s gone” I reported

_“He fled?”_ J’onn asked, clearly disbelieving

“No,” I answered “he was abducted” I stared at Astra, who was slowly sitting up

_“Get back to headquarters now!”_ J'onn ordered  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

“What the hell happened to you back there?” J’onn demanded as Astra and I marched into the DEO, the injured were already being wheeled into the infirmary

“I’m fine” Astra replied, her voice reminded me of how she sounded when she still the enemy, cold, detached

“Bullshit!” I snapped “you froze,” I shot back “I’ve never seen you freeze, not when you took out Non, not when you took out Indigo, not even when I had a sword to your throat. Never!”

“Obviously you don’t know me as well as you think” was her cold response. I reached out and grabbed her arm, something I’ve done hundreds of times since I found her in my apartment that night. Her reaction surprised me. She…flinched, jerking away like she was afraid I was going to hurt her, something that I’d never do

“Astra,” I said softly “what is it?” she nodded stiffly towards my lab. Once all three of us were inside, she sat down on a stool and ran her hands through her hair, taking a shuddering breath

“Our…attacker,” she began shakily and I noticed that her hands were trembling “is a survivor of Fort Rozz, and I suspect he came after Phillips for the same reason we did, because he was an inmate in Fort Rozz”

“But why would a prisoner abduct another prisoner?” J’onn asked, Astra chuckled bitterly

“Perhaps because his abductor wasn’t a prisoner” she replied, I felt my stomach suddenly twist into about twenty different knots

“Oh, god” I groaned

“What is it?” J’onn asked

“He’s a guard” I realized

“A guard?” J’onn repeated, looking stunned “I thought all the guards were killed by the prisoners when Fort Rozz crashed” Astra laughed bitterly

“Obviously one survived” J’onn shook his head

“That still doesn’t explain why you froze” Astra looked up at him sharply, reminding me of a wolf all of a sudden

“Tell me, Martian,” she began, her voice low and dangerous “do you know exactly what the conditions were like in Fort Rozz? Did you know that guards regularly beat us, starved us, forced us to do hard labor,” her hands started to tremble violently “did you know that they arbitrarily tortured us just to satisfy their own sadistic pleasures?” she gulped in air and clutched at her throat, clearly starting to have a panic attack “did you…know that they…v-v-violated…?” I rushed forward

“Hey, look at me, look at me,” I grabbed her shaking hands, waiting until she finally calmed enough to look up at me, her eyes looked the same way they had looked when she showed up at my apartment that night, haunted, hollow, none of that bright light I’d come to expect “oh, Astra,” I sighed, I reached up and cupped her face, not caring that J’onn was watching “you endured so much,” I began, trying not to cry “experienced things that no one should have to go through, criminal or not, things I can’t began to imagine. But you fought back, you lived, you _survived_ , you can not just throw all that you’ve accomplished over the past two months away just because one lousy guard got away, you're stronger than that, you're not going to let some overgrown rent-a-cop in a fancy tin can stop you” she chuckled, slightly less bitter this time

“And how did you get so wise?” she asked, I grinned

“Well, I know this girl who wears a red cape and who flies around saving people” I said, she smiled weakly and nodded

“Alex” J’onn asked quietly, I looked back at Astra, she smiled weakly

“I’ll be all right” she said, I nodded and reluctantly pulled away to follow J’onn outside the room  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“What happened back there, Alex?” J’onn asked, I sighed

“She was raped,” I said bluntly “by the guards in Fort Rozz, and from what she tells me, it sounds like more than one person did it” I explained, J’onn scowled

“No wonder she froze, coming face-to-face with one of your rapists after all this time,” I nodded "maybe there's a silver lining to this," he suggeseted "now we know what we're up against" I shook my head

"That still doesn't explain _why_ he took our target and where" I pointed out

"Perhaps local law enforcement knows," we turned at Astra's voice, she was standing the doorway, looking a little more composed but still drained "as we saw tonight this individual is hardly subtle" she added, J'onn nodded

"We could interview NCPD," he agreed "see how long this guy's been kicking around and if any other aliens have gone missing"

"I'd like to request--" Astra began

"I was just about to say that," J'onn chuckled "why don't you and Alex go interview NCPD, I'll go digging through our files on Fort Rozz, see if we can get a lead on what this guy is doing to his captives," he frowned at us "but for now, you two go home and get some rest, that's an order" we both nodded

"Yes, sir," I answered "come on" I said as I gently took Astra's arm, and this time she didn't flinch, but leaned in to my touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed that no one seems to be commenting on this fic :-(. Please, don't be shy! let me know what you think, what like, what you don't like (but don't be mean please)


	4. Breaking Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra and Alex get home and Astra finally loses it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, welcome to chapter four of What we are pt. 4, I want to thank you all for commenting and voicing your opinions, and for those of you who thought that Chapter One would've made a good one-shot, I am thinking about doing a bunch of one-shots in this universe. But for now, onwards!!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There is love in your body, but you can’t hold it in  
It pours from your eyes and spills from your skin  
Tenderest touch, leaves the darkest of marks  
And the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts

\--Florence + the Machine “Hardest Of Hearts”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Astra**

Returning with Alex was awkward to say the least, for the past two months I had begun to consider this place my home, but now I felt like a stranger, an intruder, someone who had brought unwanted things and despoiled the sanctity of this place

“Do, do you want to watch some TV or something?” Alex asked quietly from behind me as I stared out the window, there isn’t much to look at outside the window, merely the street and the building across, but still I enjoyed it for some strange reason

“No,” I answered “thank you” I added, more for her benefit than mine

“Something to eat?” she offered

“No. Thank you” I repeated. I heard her snarl out a frustrated sigh

“Damn it, Astra,” she sighed, sounding defeated “just…tell me how to help you” she pleaded

“I don’t think you cam” I responded

“You don’t know that”

“I do”

“No, you _don’t_ ,” she challenged, I felt a gentle, almost hesitant, touch on my shoulder, as if she was afraid if she touched me too firmly I might break, shattering into thousands of shards like glass, I think she was right “Astra,” she whispered “ _please_ , don’t do this, don’t just…bury those memories away and pretend they never happened”

“What else would you have me do?” I asked

“Talk to me!” she urged “yell at me, throw things, break something, just do… _something_ other than pretending nothing’s wrong!” I shook my head

“You don’t know,” I told her “as you said, you can’t know what it was like in… _there_ ”

“I know,” she said softly “I can’t even imagine, I don’t _want_ to imagine it, but, Astra please, don’t do this to yourself. You’ve been tortured enough, don’t torture yourself” she begged, I shook my head

“My…problems…are mine and mine alone, Alex,” I told her “it would be unfair to you to burden you with them”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she said “I don’t know how relationships worked on Krypton, but here a relationship is about give and take, about equality, sharing the load, if you fall, I catch you” she explained

“I don’t know how,” I whispered “I don’t know how to…fall” I felt her slowly wrap her arms around my waist and press herself against me, resting her chin on my shoulder

“You just…fall,” she whispered, I felt myself start to tremble as something buried deep inside of me started to break “just let go” Alex whispered, and then I was sinking to floor sobbing hysterically, sobbing for myself, for all the torments and horrors of Fort Rozz, for my failure to save Krypton, for all the years I lost with Kara, for my sister, and finally for Alex, my darling, brave Alex who deserved far better than me, with all my scars and battle wounds. And as I sobbed, as I broke, as I laid myself bare for all to see, Alex still held me. She made no comment, she offered no hollow words of advice, she just held me

Catching me as I fell…


	5. Family Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theirs is a strange family, but its a family

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was a heavy heart to carry  
My beloved was weighed down  
My arms around his neck  
My fingers laced a crown

I was a heavy heart to carry  
But he never let down  
When he held in his arms  
My feet never touched the ground

\--Florence + the Machine “Heavy In Your Arms”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

Seeing Astra break down was possibly the most awful thing I’ve ever seen, I’ve seen fellow agents collapse in shock and horror after seeing their friends killed by some alien, I’ve even don it myself, I saw my mother do it after my dad died, I saw Kara do it after it finally sunk in that Krypton was really gone. But this…seeing Astra just…shatter? That was terrible. It was terrible because my mother’s pain and Kara’s had been from loss, Astra’s wasn’t, not completely anyway.

I woke up on the floor, my back was resting against the wall under the window where we’d been standing the night before, Astra was curled up in my lap, she looked…not peaceful, but more at ease, more relaxed. I blinked at the smell of…cooking? Yes, cooking pancakes specifically. Gently easing myself out from under Astra (and making sure not to wake her), I slowly sat up and peeked around the couch to see…Winn standing at my stove? He looked up and saw me and gave a shy little wave, I found myself waving back as I slowly stood up

“Hey” Winn greeted softly as he turned off the stove and scooped out the pancake to add it to a very large stack already on a plate

“Hi,” I replied, still feeling confused “not that I’m complaining, but…”

“Your boss called Kara, told her what happened,” he explained as he washed his hands “she wanted to come herself, but, there was a really big fire downtown, so…”

“…she called you to come over instead,” I finished, he nodded “how did you…?”

“I brought him,” I jumped and turned to see J’onn sitting in one of my armchairs, the big plushy one like Kara’s that Astra wanted and which I bought because she looked so happy about. It wasn’t the fact that J’onn was sitting there that surprised me; it was the fact that he was doing it in his real form

“Wait, so you…” I started, I looked between the two of them “you told _him?_ ”

“Gee thanks” Winn muttered

“Actually, your sister did,” J’onn explained as he shifted back into Hank Henshaw “by the way, we need to give her a refresher course on security,” he added “and as for my appearance, Mr. Schott wanted to see what a ‘real Martian’ looked like” I glanced back at Winn

“Did you faint?” I asked

“Nope” he said proudly, I nodded

“You do know that you can’t tell anyone, right?” I asked, Winn snorted

“Who am I gonna tell?”

“Fair enough,” I muttered “uh, no offense Winn, but why did Kara ask you to come?”

“Because we’re friends,” he answered “and so’s Astra” he added

“Yeah, I’m still wondering how that happened?” I muttered

“Me too,” Winn chuckled “never thought I’d having a gaming buddy who was a Kryptonian general and ex-con,” he nodded to the stack of pancakes “pancake?” he offered, I nodded

“Sure. Thanks,” he happily loaded my plate with three pancakes, and they were big ones too “hey, what are these dark spots?” I asked

“Chocolate chips” he answered as he handed a plate to J’onn

“And the red bits?” I asked wondered as I cut into a pancake

“Strawberry,” he answered as he made a plate for himself “so…,” he began “how is she?”

“I’m better now, Winn, thank you” we all turned to see Astra standing there, looking like she’d been awake for a while

“How long have you been awake?” I wondered, she smirked, the damn smirk, which was actually good, because it meant that she was feeling better

“Long enough to see that Winn now knows that your director is a Martian,” she answered, she nodded to the stack of pancakes “do I get one?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Winn happily dropped four of the gigantic pancakes onto a plate “here you go” he handed her the plate just as a gust of wind blew in

“Hey, don’t I get one?” Kara asked as she closed the window, her costume and hair were covered in soot and she smelled like smoke, but she smiled brightly at all of us as she approached Astra, before she suddenly threw her arms around her, squeezing her tight

“Oh, Kara,” Astra sighed as she stroked Kara’s hair with her free hand “hush, it’s all right” she soothed

“No it’s not” I heard Kara mumble into Astra’s shoulder

“Yes it is,” J’onn pitched in “you weren’t there, you couldn’t have stopped it even if you were” he pointed out. Kara shakily pulled away from Astra, sniffling

“I just…how could they do that?” she demanded

“Because I was a criminal,” Astra explained gently “in Fort Rozz, many of the guards, and indeed the wardens, were of the mind that by breaking the law, any inmate of Fort Rozz had thus forfeited any rights or liberties they had, we became…less than animals, nothing more than things to abuse”

“But why didn’t anyone stop it?” Kara wondered “I mean, someone must’ve known, must’ve heard something” Astra shrugged

“I don’t think anyone cared to,” she said “I think, to the Council, all that mattered was the criminals were put away, it mattered little what happened to the individuals afterwards”

“And now, there’s a guard here, on Earth” Kara said grimly

“But we’re going to stop him,” J’onn told her, he glanced at the rest of us, me, Winn, Astra “all of us, together”

“Hell yeah” Winn agreed enthusiastically, which was just ice breaker we all needed

“Definitely” I agreed, trying not to openly laugh in Winn’s face, even as Kara giggled and Astra and J’onn smirked

“El mayra” Astra commented with a nod

“What?” Winn asked

“It’s Kryptonese,” Kara explained “the family motto of the House of El” she tapped the Crest of El on her chest

“Roughly translated it means ‘stronger together’,” Astra explained “because on Krypton it was considered an honor to ask for and receive help” she explained, Winn nodded

“’Stronger together’,” he repeated “I like that”

“Good,” Kara said firmly “because you’re part of this family too” I bit my lip to keep from laughing as she crossed her arms, as if daring Winn to say otherwise. Winn’s eyes widened

“Wha, uh, really?” he asked, and I could see that he was touched, deeply, to be included in a family again after who knows how long, probably since he father went to jail for murder

“I should warn you, Winn,” Astra said “it is a strange family” Winn smirked and shrugged

“Aren’t they all?” he asked


	6. Five Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Astra interview NCPD and get a shock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA-HA, Chapter Six of What we are pt four. I want to once again thank you for your kind comments and support, as to those of you were surprised at Winn's sudden appearance last chapter, that actually surprised me too, but I just couldn't bring myself to torture Astra anymore (at least not for a while anyway)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Who is the betrayer?  
Who is the killer in the crowd?  
The one who creeps in corridors  
And doesn’t make a sound

\--Florence + the Machine “Heavy In Your Arms”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

“I need to ask Winn for that recipe,” I groaned as I sank down onto the couch. Winn and Kara had already left (both having been summoned by Her Majesty Cat Grant) and J’onn had left to dig through the DEO’s files on the Fort Rozz inmates "because those pancakes were good," I mumbled "very filling, but good"

“You probably shouldn’t have eaten so much” Astra pointed out as she stretched out next to me

“You’re one to talk, you had _four_ , I only had two,” I pointed out, she just chuckled “hey,” I nudged her gently and wrapped an arm around her shoulders “seriously though, you’re not alone in this, you know? You’ve got me, Kara, Winn, J’onn, all of us” she nodded

“I know,” she repeated “but...”

“Yeah,” I agreed “I know,” I didn’t really want to get up, if it was up to me I would’ve just stayed there holding her for the rest of the day, but I couldn’t and even if I could, I knew she wouldn’t want me to give up my responsibilities just for her sake “come on, we better go get changed,” I finally managed to tear myself away from her and sat up “we’ve got an interview with NCPD,” I added, I paused when I saw that she was still sitting there “unless, you don’t want to?” I offered “I can always ask J’onn to…” she shook her head

“No, I think….I need to be an active part of this,” she said as she slowly sat up “I think I need…what is the term…‘closure’?” I nodded

“I think you’re right,” I nodded towards the bedroom and held out a hand “c’mon, we’ll share a shower, saves time” I said, she smiled and nodded slowly, like she knew what I was really offering. Not just a shower, not even sex, but intimacy, comfort, a reminder that not everything was dark and violent, that there was still beauty and hope in the world

“Yes, of course” she said with a knowing smile as she took my hand and let me pull her towards the bathroom  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

About half an hour later we walked into the Major Crimes offices at NCPD headquarters. The two detectives in the office looked up at my knock

“Agent Danvers and Inzeli, FBI” I introduced us, the one detective who was standing next to the desk nodded at us in acknowledgment

“I’m Detective Warren,” he introduced himself, he nodded at the detective who was sitting at the desk “he’s Draper” Warren was a tall and lanky black man who scowled at us as we walked in, whereas Draper was a muscular, square-jawed, clean-shaven white man with sandy brown hair and blue eyes, you’re all around American boy scout type

“We’re investigating a recent abduction in National City,” Astra explained, her voice professional, no hints of the fact that she wasn’t human present, she held up the photograph of our masked man “this is our primary suspect” she explained

“Heh,” Warren chuckled dryly “Halloween already, huh?” I watched as Astra shrugged as if bored, like she was saying _‘you know bureaucrats, got to do everything by the book’_ , and I wondered if she had experence in law enforcement

“Any help would be much appreciated” I replied evenly, Warren chuckled dryly

“Feds come crawlin’,” he mocked “you must be embarrassed” I didn’t like his tone, it was mocking, territorial, condescending

“Well, as long as the job gets done, doesn’t matter who helps, does it?” I pointed out “I mean look at you guys” I added

“Meaning?” Warren asked, pulling himself up, I shrugged, trying to keep the sneer off my face

“Well, crime in National City’s gone down in the past few months,” I pointed out “a lot of it thanks to Supergirl. But you guys don’t mind that she helps, do you?” for a second it looked like Warren was going to tear into me for that little dig, but instead he just straightened his tie and scowled

“I’ve got an interview with doughnut,” he grunted out “wouldn’t want to be late” he added before he brushed past us and stalked out of the room

“Sorry about Warren,” the other cop, Draper, apologized as soon as Warren was out of the room “he’s a good cop,” he explained “but he’s just not…enlightened”

“Is there anything you can tell us?” Astra asked, Draper shrugged

“Not much, we don’t know who this guy is, we know he’s been kicking around for the past couple of months though,” he explained

“There’ve been other kidnappings?” I asked, feeling a chill go down my spine, Draper nodded

“At least five that we know of,” he answered “but, uh,” he picked up a file folder and flipped over to me “he’s not just kidnapping them,” he explained as I opened the folder to see a crime scene photo of what looked like a murder scene “we found all five of the bodies down by the river,” he explained “all of them decapitated”

“How did we not know about this?” I muttered as I flipped through four more identical crime scene photos, shivering at the thought that this could be Astra next if this sicko got his way

“Well, the mayor wants this kept quiet,” Draper explained “but all of the victims were…weird”

“Weird?” Astra asked, Draper nodded

“One of them had…gills,” he explained, waving a hand at the side of his neck “like a fish,” he glanced up outside at Warren who was busying himself at the coffee machine “and, uh,” he plucked the file back “that’s about all I can tell you”

“Thank you very much for your help, Detective Draper” I thanked him, he nodded as we quickly left the room  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Now we know the reason behind his abduction of the Cry’noi” Astra snarled once we were out in the hall, I nodded

“He’s trying to recreate Fort Rozz here on Earth" Astra nodded

"With his rules” she snarled, I grabbed her arm

"Hey," I said gently "we'll find him" and I meant it, I was going to find this bastard and stop him even if it killed me

I only hoped that he didn't find Astra before I found him


	7. Number One and Number Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's feud with Siobhan begins, Alex and Astra find the Jailer's next target

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Seven! Once again, thank you for your support and kind comments and to polybi, this episode did have a procedural/cop show feel to it didn't? So, might as well keep it up.
> 
> Onward!!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Kara**

Since I started working at CatCo I thought I’d learned to expect the unexpected. I was wrong. I blinked at the message on my computer from Siobhan

> ‘What’s the deal with you and Olsen and Lane?'

I looked up at her “What do you mean?” I asked, I didn’t trust this woman as far as I could throw her, and I could throw her into space if I wanted to. The computer beeped again

> ‘Friends? More than friends?’

“No. We’re just friends” I told her

> ‘Friends with benefits?’

I shook my head “No. Just friends, no benefits…unless you count the…benefit of friendship” yeah I know I felt lame just saying that

> ‘With which one?’

I sighed “Both of them”

> ‘So a threesome huh?'

I leapt out of my chair “NO!”

“Inside voice, Ker-iah,” Ms. Grant snapped as she walked by “be more like Assistant Number One. She hasn’t made a peep” I was about to say something really, really mean to Siobhan when my phone rang

“Hello?”

 _“It’s me,”_ Alex said _“we need you over here right now”_

“I can’t,” I answered, I scowled at Siobhan “I have a problem” I grumbled

 _“You can fight with assistant number one for Cat’s affection later,”_ Alex snapped _“it’s important, like, Astra could be in danger important”_ I stood up, forget Siobhan, Astra was my family

“All right, I’ll be right there,” I hung up and stopped at Siobhan’s desk “uh, Siobhan? I’m going to need to go, and Ms. Grant is going to want her lunch in a few minutes, so you’ll have to get—”

“…chef’s salad, no meat, Italian dressing, with boiled chicken and a hard-boiled egg on the side” she finished

“Yeah,” I said slowly “that’s right” Siobhan gave me a small smile

“It’s no problem, you can go” she told me 

“Thanks” I smiled, maybe she wasn’t that bad after all

“Just doing your job,” she called out as I turned to leave “someone has to”

I take it back, I hate her  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

“Based on the human aliases of the killer’s victims we think they were these five inmates here” J’onn explained, pointing the monitors, I nodded as I guzzled more crap coffee, we really need to allocate some money in our budget to get a better coffeemaker in the break room, not mention a vending machine

“So, what’s the connection?” Kara asked as she munched on a stale doughnut

“None,” Astra answered, I wondered if she knew she was mirroring Kara’s pose, arms crossed, brow creased, the only difference was that Astra was scowling at Kara’s doughnut crumbs out of the corner of her eye, I could just see her resisting the urge to sweep it up, funny how she becomes an obsessive neat freak when she’s upset, because the rest of the time she’s a slob “at least none that we can see,” she explained “they were all from different backgrounds, different crimes, none were even cellmates, and—oh, give me that!” she snatched the doughnut out of Kara’s hand and put it on a blank piece of paper before handing back to Kara “there, and don’t talk with your mouth full” she ordered, J’onn and I hide our grins behind simultaneous gulps of coffee. That’s when I saw it

“Hey, do you see that?” I asked

“See what?” Kara asked

“Here,” I reached for the controls “look at what happens when you arrange the escapees in the order they were killed”

“Their prisoner numbers line up” Kara realized

“He’s killing them in the order they were imprisoned” J’onn realized, I nodded as I pulled up the next prisoner file in the sequence

“Which means that his next target is…” 

“Prisoner number 2445,” Astra identified as the file came up “imprisoned on drug smuggling charges, human alias ‘Alphonse Luzano’” she read

“Why haven’t we gone after him yet?” Kara asked

“Because not all of the escapees are bad people,” J’onn explained “there have been at least a dozen that we know of who are seemingly trying to make a fresh start since Fort Rozz crashed”

“Thirteen,” Astra corrected him with a smirk “and you’re right,” she explained “after Fort Rozz crashed, the prisoners scattered, some of us sought to hide, to integrate into human society and live out a peaceful existence in solitude, many of those were minor offenders, while others sought to return to their pervious acts of murder and worse”

“Like Vartox and the Hellgermite” I reason, Astra nodded

“And Indigo and dozens more” she confirmed

“Are there any Kryptonians hiding out and living out ‘a peaceful existence in solitude’?” I asked, Astra smirked

“Only one that I know of,” she answered “and I would hardly call her existence ‘peaceful’ or ‘solitary’, but she is ‘hiding out’” she teased

“Oh, come on!” Kara groaned “do you two always have to do this?”

“Do what?” I asked

“This whole…eye…thing” Kara exclaimed, I grinned as I flashed back to her comment about the two of us having sex with our eyes. I leaned in

“Only when we’re not having actual sex” I whispered, Kara groaned again and looked away

“Will you stop? You’re gonna put me off doughnuts for the rest of my life!” she complained

“Considering the amount of crumbs you’ve been dropping on my floor, Ms. Danvers that might be a good thing” J’onn pitched in, I felt myself blush, of course he heard that, oops “now, getting back to business,” he added “one or both you should find Luzano before the guard does” he nodded at Kara and Astra

“Well, it says here that he’s a professor of astronomy at the UC National City” Kara read

“Then you’d better get going,” J’onn urged “school’s out in an hour”


	8. Grudge Match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Astra fight the Jailer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, chapter eight of What we are part four. Once again thanks for your support. And now for something completely different (for those of you who don't get that referenced ask your parents what Monty Python is)

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Kara**

Professor Alphonse Luzano (or whatever his real name was) certainly didn’t look like a hardened criminal, in fact he reminded me of a neighbor Eliza and Jeremiah had when I was growing up, quiet and kind of mousy. The poor guy jumped about twenty feet in the air (figuratively) when I landed in front of him

“Please!” he dropped his briefcase and held up his hands, the poor guy looked absolutely terrified “I haven’t done anything!”

“It’s all right,” I held out a hand, trying to look as non-threatening as possible “I’m not here to hurt you” he shook his head

“Then…why…?” he blinked at me

“Look, I don’t have time to explain,” I said “but—” I stopped and turned at the heavy thud behind me. The guard was right there, less than ten feet from me. I put myself between him and the professor

“Leave him alone” I ordered. He tilted his head at me, clearly he wasn’t expecting me

“Jailer!” I jumped when I saw Astra land behind the guard, cracking the pavement as she just dropped down from the sky. The guard turned to face her

 ** _“Prisoner 5690,”_** his voice was mechanical, making him sound like a growlier Darth Vader. He threw out his hands, chains shooting out from each of his wrists **_“face justice”_**

“Not from you” Astra spat, the guard threw his arms forward, the chains lashing out at Astra as she flew up, grabbing one in each hand. As she did, I lunged, grabbing him from behind in a bear hug, or at least I tried to grab him from behind in a bear, what actually happened, was he pulled his arms back, the ends of the chains in Astra’s hands suddenly wrapped around his wrists, and she ended up being thrown into me as the guard swung around to face me, we ended up hitting each other hard enough to crack the pavement as we landed.

With the two of us down, the guard threw what looked like a baton at the professor; it caught in his legs as he ran, tripping him and knocking him to the ground. I managed to untangle myself from Astra (she has really long arms and legs) and shot up lunging for the guard. He threw out his arms, the chains shooting towards me like snakes, I tried to zigzag, but felt one wrap around my ankle, the next thing I knew I was being flung back and into a tree. Then, the chain holding my leg was pulled back, I kicked and twisted, managing to get upright, even though the chain was still around my ankle, I watched as the guard yanked his arms down, the chain around my ankle broke loose from his arm and stuck itself to part of the building, holding me there. He threw out another chain which wrapped around my other ankle, then another around my right wrist, then my left, and there I was, tied spread-eagle and hanging off the side of a building.

With me all tied up, he turned back to Astra, only to get punched in the face by her the second he turned around. He threw out two more chains, which she caught, she then spun around in the air, twirling around like a ballerina, knocking him in the face with his own chains, she then zipped behind him at superspeed, wrapping part of the chain around his neck, for a second I thought she might just strangle him to death, and a for second I didn’t care if she did. But the guard suddenly twisted around, firing off a blast of blue energy which hit Astra in the chest at point-blank, throwing her back about twenty feet to smash into a wall, before she slid down to the ground, not moving.

OK, I couldn’t break the chains, but maybe I could cut them. I fired off a blast of heat vision, cutting the chain around my right wrist; I repeated the process with my other arm and then my legs. But these things were tough, and by the time I got through all four of them the guard, the professor, and Astra were gone.

He took them both


	9. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra finds out who the Jailer really is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOUBLE UPDATE!!!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

And I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t  
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope  
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope

\--Florence + the Machine “Shake It Out”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
 **Alex**

“What happened?” I asked as Kara stormed into Command

“He took Astra!” she spat, throwing a length of chain and a baton down on the table in the middle of the room

“He what?!” I demanded, she nodded jerkily

“He took them both, the professor and Astra,” she ran her fingers through her hair “how could you let her just go off like that?”

“I didn’t ‘let her go’!” I snarled “she went off after you on her own; I tried to stop her”

“You should’ve tried harder!” she spat

“I did!” I snarled “I tried everything short of _shooting_ her!”

“She’s all I have left, Alex! Don’t you get that?!”

“You’re not the only one who cares for her, Kara! She’s important to me too!!”

“THAT’S ENOUGH, BOTH OF YOU!!!” we stopped yelling at each to look up at J’onn “arguing with each other is not going to help get Astra back,” he told us firmly, he nodded to the chain and baton that Kara had brought in “Agent Vasquez, get these to the lab, start analyzing it immediately”

“Yes, sir” she quickly grabbed them both and hurried off to the lab. J’onn pointed at the two of us

“You two go get some air, you’re in no condition to help Astra now” he ordered, I took a breath as I realized that he was right, we didn’t even know where this guy was holding his victims. I gently grabbed Kara’s arm

“C’mon, he’s right” I said softly, she nodded stiffly  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Astra**

I awoke with a painful jerk. For a moment I was confused as I took in my surroundings, I was somewhere small, which I hated, ever since I was a child I’d hated confined spaces, a fact that the guards in Fort Rozz gleefully used against me time and time again. A bright red light shone down on me. Panic suddenly set in as I realized I was in a cell, a cage, identical to those on Fort Rozz. But I wasn’t on Fort Rozz, I was on Earth. I drew back a fist, slamming my knuckles on the bars only to recoil back as a shooting pain shot up my arm

“Uh, General Astra, madam?” a tentative voice said, I turned, seeing the same inmate, Luzano, in an identical cell across from mine “I really wouldn’t bother,” he continued “if I were to hazard a guess I’d say that those lights mimic the red sun of Krypton, and since you derive your powers from exposure to Earth’s yellow sun…” he shrugged “as the humans would say ‘we are up a creek without a poodle’” I frowned at that

“Paddle” I corrected once I realized what he meant

“Yes. Paddle” he sighed, he seemed more upset that he didn’t know English idioms than his current situation, and I found myself smiling despite myself as I shook out my still numb arm

“It’s a difficult language,” I assured him “even I have trouble with it,” I leaned forward against the bars of my cells “you were imprisoned on drug smuggling charges, correct?” he nodded “why were you imprisoned in Fort Rozz?” I wondered “why not a minimum-security prison, you certainly don’t seem like a hardened drug runner to me” I pointed out, he chuckled and shrugged

“It doesn’t matter,” he replied “walter under the bridge” I chuckled

“Water,” I corrected “’Walter’ is a name”

“Yes. Water,” he sighed, for a moment he was silent “I was born on Star Haven,” he began suddenly “uh, do you know it?” I nodded, I knew it very well

“Yes, I took my niece there once when she was young, her first trip off-world,” I explained “it was beautiful, the air smelled like…,” I frowned as I tried to think of a similar scent “…cinnamon” I finally realized, Luzano looked surprised

“It did, didn’t?” he murmured wistfully, and I felt sorry for him as I realized that he could never go back, even if he found a ship, his people would never welcome him back, criminals were exiled on Star Haven, banished never to return. He leaned forward as he continued his story “after a particularly strong storm season, one of my wives became ill,” he explained “the healing expenses became too much,” he added with a sigh “and so begins the story of how a simple man entered the complicated world of interplanetary drug smuggling,” he chuckled humorlessly “caught on my first run. And sentenced by Alura Zor-El to eighteen years in Fort Rozz” I sighed

“And I suppose now that you hate my sister, just like all the others?” I wondered, like I had I added silently

“For a time, I did, yes,” he confirmed with a small nod “but then I realized that she was only doing her duty,” he explained “she even apologized to me at my sentencing,” he added, and I felt that all-too familiar ache I had whenever I thought of Alura twinge at that, that was so like Alura, that compassion that Kara inherited from her “and so when Fort Rozz crashed here,” Luzano continued “I sought to only to live a good life, I became a professor and taught the one thing I know better than anyone else on this planet. The stars”

“I used to teach my niece the stars” I recalled, he nodded

“Yes, I’ve seen her exploits, as...’supergirl?’,” I nodded “yes, I’m glad to see that Alura Zor-El’s compassion survives” I nodded

“So am I,” I replied, I glanced around the rest of the room, there four other cells next to ours, making six in total “I’ll get us out of here” I vowed

**_“No,”_** I turned to see the jailer stride down the corridor towards us **_“justice has finally come for your friend,”_** he announced as he came to a stop between our cells **_“pray that it hasn’t come for you yet, Astra In-ze”_** he warned

“Is that meant to frighten me?” I mocked, he tilted his head at me quizzically; clearly wondering why I wasn’t cowering in fear like poor Luzano was. I leaned forward “I’m not frightened of you anymore,” I hissed, I watched as his helmet retracted, staring in surprise as his face was reveled. I wasn’t afraid, but I was surprised “well,” I began “it’s nice to see you again, Detective Draper”


	10. Jail Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clock is ticking, can they find Astra in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIPLE UPDATE

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Who’s a heretic now?  
Am I making sense?  
How can you make it stick?  
Waiting till the beat comes out  
Who’s a heretic, child?  
Now that I’m on trial  
Waiting till the beat comes out

\--Florence + the Machine “Which Witch”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

“Twelve hours,” I announced as I marched back into Command “that’s how much time passed between the last victim’s abduction to when his body was found. Which means that we don’t have much time”

“Alex, Astra wasn’t his target” J’onn reminded me

“That doesn’t matter to him!” I snapped “all he cares about is that she was a prisoner, she was _the_ prisoner, in Fort Rozz”

“We will find her,” he assured me “when I promised Jeremiah Danvers that I would look after his daughters I didn’t mean only them, I meant that I would look after those they loved as well”

“We don’t even know where he’s taken her” Kara grumbled

“Agent Danvers, ma’am?” Vasquez walked up to me “we analyzed the baton that Supergitl brought in,” she began “its standard police issue”

“Police issue?” I wondered “did you find any DNA?”

“Only human DNA, ma’am” I frowned, the pieces were starting to come together

“Was there a match in the NCPD database?” I asked, Vasquez nodded

“Yes, ma’am, a Detective Warren”

“Warren?” Kara asked “that cop you interviewed that hates me?” I nodded

“Yeah,” I turned to Vasquez “Vasquez, pull up the files on the guards in Fort Rozz,” she nodded and in a flash images were flying by on the screen “stop!” I ordered as a familiar face appeared, sandy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, clean-shaven all American Boy Scout look “it _is_ Draper!” I snarled

“Who?” Kara asked

“He’s Detective Warren’s _partner_ ,” I snarled “damn it! He _saw_ her! He even _helped_ us! Told us about the killings! He was _taunting_ us!”

“Originally from the planet Trombus,” J’onn read “planet of technologically advanced high-tech weapons manufacturers, which explains the RoboCop suit”

“His father was a guard, his grandfather,” I read “job’s in his blood”

“Where’s Draper now?” Kara demanded, Vasquez tapped a few keys

“It look’s like he’s been scrambling his GPS every time he goes off duty” she announced

“Can you unscramble it?” I asked

"Give me a moment,” Vasquez nodded “huh, it look’s like he’s been spending most of his tine in a cabin about thirty miles north of the city” she explained. J’onn nodded to me

“Get a strike team ready” he ordered  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

**Astra**

I watched as Draper approached my cell

“I’ve been looking for you for some time now, General,” he said “imagine my surprise when you walked right into my office, all of my searching for naught”

“Sorry to disappoint” I sneered, he smirked

“I found it interesting that you of all people were posing as an FBI agent,” he added “tell me, the human …does she know who you really are? _What_ you really are?

“Would it matter if she did?” I asked, Draper shook his head 

_“Humans,”_ he sneered the word “understand very _little_ about justice,” he explained “justice must _absolute_. You’re sister understood that; she understood that better than most, she dealt out justice to the scum of our galaxy, she knew what it meant to punish those who sin, even if it meant condemning her own flesh and blood,” he shook his head “Fort Rozz,” he began, as if I wasn’t seeing what was clearly right in front of me “was the paradise of Alura’s design,” he proclaimed “a place where criminals were justly punished for their crimes. And I’m carrying on her great work”

“And I suppose you think that my sister knowingly condoned, indeed that she ordered, the use of torture and **_rape_** as a means of control?” I spat

“I am protecting this city,” he snarled “this world”

“All you have done,” I told him “is to dishonor my sister’s memory and the memory of everything she stood for. You _disgust_ me” I sneered, instead of responding, Draper turned around to face Luzano

“Prisoner 2445,” he touched a control on his gauntlet and Luzano’s cell opened “step forward,” he commanded “judgment is upon you”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

The cabin that Draper was using was up in the mountains, it was off the beaten path, far from any neighbors, and with only one road leading in or out. In short the perfect place for a serial killer to hide and do his ‘work’ in peace and quiet

“We’ve got a problem,” Kara gently landed in front of me “there’s no one in there” she announced

“What do you mean?” I asked, she shook her head

“There’s no one in there,” she repeated “there isn’t even any furniture” she explained, I nodded

“There could still be some clue as to where he takes his victims,” I told her, I nodded to the strike team “get ready,” I ordered as they got into position “three…two…one…breach!” on my signal agents burst in through the front door, the back door, and a pair of French doors leading to a very nice deck overlooking the lake

“Clear!” someone called out

“Back room’s clear!”

“Clear!”

“All clear over here!”

I snarled in frustration as I found myself standing in an empty room

_“Agent Danvers, report”_ J’onn asked over my comm.

“We’ve got a problem, sir,” I announced “the cabin’s empty, they’re not here”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Astra**

“Please,” Luzano pleaded as Draper led him over to a device I recognized by function if not by name, basically an advanced version of the infamous guillotine “this isn’t necessary, I’ve never hurt anyone” Luzanon continued

**_“Tell that to the countless addicts you were going to supply with your smuggled narcotics,”_** Draper countered, his helmet firmly in place **_“down”_** he ordered with a hard shove, forcing Luzano to his knees  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

“There has to be something here!” I snarled “some clue as to where he takes his victims”

“There isn’t!” Kara insisted “I looked everywhere, I even looked under the….cabin,” she frowned at the floor before she waved at me “stand right there,” she instructed “there, do you see that?” I stared at the rays of orange-red light gently pulsing under the floorboards, if I hadn’t been standing right there and thus blocking out the sunlight I might never have noticed it. I nodded to Kara

“Open it,” I ordered, she grinned, quickly smashing her fist through the floorboards, tearing them up to reveal a cavern filled with that same orange-red glow and a ship “it’s his ship,” I realized, I grabbed Kara’s arm to stop her from just charging there “whoa, easy there, you hit the wrong spot and the whole mountain comes down”

“Then how do we get in?” she demanded, I glanced up at one of the agents surrounding us

“How much C-4 do we have?” I asked  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Astra**

**_“Prisoner 2445,”_** Draper began once Luzano was secured **_“you stand guilty of drug smuggling. How do you plead?”_**

“I am brave enough to admit that I am very scared to die,” Luzano began, he glanced over at me, a softness in his eyes, perhaps I reminded him of someone he once knew aside from my sister, his ailing wife perhaps “I only ask that you let this woman go,” he continued, turning to look straight ahead, facing death with a somber dignity “grant a dying man his last request”

**_“’Last request’?”_** Draper sneered **_“that’s a human concept,”_** he forced Luzano’s head down, locking him into place. I found myself frantically pulling at the bars of my cell, I had seen far too much death in my life, I couldn’t bear to see another, especially not the death of a quiet, gentle man like Luzano, a man whose only crime had been committed out of love for his wife. I watched with a growing sense of horror as Draper placed his hand on a lever of some type, clearly the activation switch for the device **_“sentence to be carried out”_** he proclaimed

That was when the ceiling caved in

And my brave and beautiful Kara dropped down into the room

“Professor! Run!” she ordered as she drew back a fist and struck Draper in the head. More agents dropped down, repelling down as Kara and Draper fought, firing at him as they did. Including Alex. She unhooked her line and rushed to my cell, staring up at the lights in clear disbelief

“Red sunlight?” she demanded, I nodded as I suddenly saw Draper fire a blast from both of his gauntlets at Kara, the combined blast threw her back across the room, where she lay, stunned

“Alex! Behind you!” I warned as Draper charged, knocking her aside. She regained her balance and delivered a hard kick to Draper’s chest, but that only made him staggered somewhat, and I could only watch as he grabbed her by her leg and swung her around, pinning her against the same device he had no doubt used to execute his five other victims “no!” I reached out, stretching out my arm as far I could in a desperate attempt to reach her, my Alex. She didn’t deserve to die like this, she deserved to grow old and have children, to die in peace at one hundred years of age, surrounded by her loved ones, by Kara, by me.

I watched as she kicked and squirmed against Draper’s grip, finally getting an arm free and managing to grab a fallen pistol off the floor. She brought it bear, firing even as Draper held her wrist away from his body, the bullets tearing through the ceiling, a shaft of brilliant yellow sunlight falling directly on me, overpowering the artificial red sunlight

**_“You wasted your ammo”_** Draper taunted once the pistol ran empty. I watched as Alex grinned at him, baring her teeth in a predatory smile

“No I didn’t,” she nodded towards my cell “here comes the sun”

“Alex! Move!” I tore out of the cell and charged, striking Draper in the head, then the chest, then abdomen, I gave him no quarter, no opportunity to regroup, to recover. Finally, as he swung at my head, I grabbed his arm and twisted, hearing the distinct ‘pop’ of his elbow dislocating. As he recovered from that, I struck at his head again, this time with both hands, hard enough to tear his helmet off. I grabbed him by the throat and pinned him against the wall. I could see the fear in his eyes, and I desperately wanted to kill him, to make him feel but a fraction of the pain and misery I endured in Fort Rozz

But no

I wasn’t a killer, I was a soldier, I killed because I had to, because my duty drove me to, not out of some deluded sense of justice like he did, if I did that, I’d be no better than him, worse still, Alura would never forgive me once I joined her in Rao’s light. I tightened my grip on Draper’s throat and pulled him forward until we were almost nose-to-nose “no. More. Killing!” I hissed before I threw him away like the garbage that he was.

I turned to see Alex standing up, absently rubbing at the back of her head “Sorry I’m late” she joked, I smiled

“I’d say you got here just in time,” Kara groaned as she slowly stood “I’m fine, I’m fine” she waved us away as we both rushed over to her

“Uh, excuse me,” I blinked in surprise as Luzano emerged from a corner and proudly stood tall in front of the three of us “if I may, what happens to me now?” he asked


	11. Stars and Slights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Astra and Alex help the professor, Kara and Siobhan's revealer heats up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, chapter eleven, only one or two more to go before the end, and for a bit of fluff before we get back to the angst

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

“You sure this is a good idea?” I asked, Astra nodded at me as we soared across the city’s skyline. Finally landing at UCNC’s campus

“Oh,” Professor Luzano wobbled a bit as Astra landed a bit too hard “I am quite grateful that I did not acquire the power fly here on earth,” he muttered as she gently let go of him. He stared at us, confused “but, I don’t understand,” he said “you’re letting me go. Why?” he asked

“Because you have already served your sentence,” Astra explained “it’s been far more than eighteen years since we arrived here, and,” she nodded to the campus “you have students to teach, to show the stars”

“Well,” he nodded gratefully “thank you, General, Agent Danvers” I smiled and shook my head

“Its just ‘Alex’ and ‘Astra’” I told him, Lunzano nodded

“Well, then, thank you Miss. Alex, Miss. Astra” he said, he offered his hand which Astra shook warmly

“I should be thanking you” she said

“For what?” I asked, she smiled and nodded at the professor

“For reminding me that not all of us who were imprisoned in Fort Rozz are beyond redemption,” she explained, I watched in surprise as she leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek “I thank you, Lunzano of Star Haven,” she proclaimed, he nodded gracefully as she stepped back, wrapping an arm around my waist as she did. She smiled at me “shall we?” she asked, already floating a few feet off the ground, I felt myself grin as I nodded, Astra’s grip tightening slightly as she gently floated up higher. We waved goodbye to Luzano as we flew away, he cheerfully waved back  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Kara**

“Kara,” Siobhan called out as I stepped out of the elevator “just wanted you to know I did all your work while you were gone,” she said cheerfully “I don’t think Cat even noticed”

“OK,” I started “look, I’ve tried to be nice, I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I _don’t like you_ ” she snorted

“I’m not here to be liked,” she scoffed “I’m here to be the next Cat Grant,” I stared at her “I figure, four months at this desk, tops, before I make it a junior reporter, make a name for myself. Once people know my name then I’ll start my brand, diversify. In ten years people will be drying themselves on towels from my home luxury collection,” she sneered at “and you, you will be booking my waxing appointments” I just nodded, staring at this crazy woman in front of me

“We’ll see who gets to stay” I finally managed to say, she rolled her eyes

“Yeah. Keep telling yourself that” she said as she walked away, I stood there staring at her as my phone rang

“Hello?”

 _“It’s me,”_ Alex said _“Draper wants to talk to you”_ she said

“Me?” I asked “why does he want to talk to me?”

 _“I don’t know,”_ Alex sighed _“but you better get over here, Astra looks like she wants to tear him apart for even saying your name”_ I sighed

“I’ll be right over”


	12. Open Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara confront Draper, and Alex learns a horrifying truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Chapter Twelve of Part Four of What we are here. Sorry it took me so long to get back, and sorry if the last chapter seemed like filler, it was, I admit it, but I also wanted to lay the groundwork for Siobhan's transformation into the Silver Banshee.
> 
> In related news, I think I finally found the formula here, one part angst, one part fluff, alternate as necessary. So the last chapter was fluff, here's the angst, I think there will be one more chapter after this one, some nice fluff to end the fic on
> 
> Also, to snow_lily, the Xena reference in Chapter 9 was actually completely unintentional, I didn't even realize it until you pointed it out (not that I'm complaining, I quite liked that episode of Xena, although poor Joxer gets cast as the 'jerk')
> 
> Anywho on we go!!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map  
And knew that somehow I could find my way back  
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too  
So I stayed in the darkness with you

\--Florence + the Machine “Cosmic Love”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Alex**

“I’ve been watching you for sometime, Kara Zor-El,” Draper hissed, he didn’t look anywhere near as intimidating standing in a cell with his arm in a sling and stripped down to his boxers. To my right, Kara kept a good poker face as Draper continued “your mother would be proud you’ve chosen to follow in her footsteps. Delivering punishment against those who sin”

“I’m sorry you think that’s what I’ve been doing” Kara retorted, Draper shook his head with a sneer

“Your mother was a great woman,” he hissed “I’d hoped that you would see justice the same way she did,” he smirked “the way I do”

“Were you one of the ones who raped my aunt?” Kara demanded, I watched as the shock flickered across Draper’s face, he looked genuinely surprised by that

“’Rape’?” he echoed, he angrily slammed his hand on the glass “I’m not scum like them!!” he suddenly roared, he let out a laugh “why don’t you ask the scum from Fort Rozz you have locked up in here?” he sneered

“What do you mean?” I demanded, Draper smirked

“Alura Zor-El sentenced hundreds, thousands, of criminals to Fort Rozz,” he pointed out, even as I got a sinking feeling in my stomach “the scum of our galaxy,” he continued “murders…rapists…,” he chuckled darkly “you think that they hate you, Kara Zor-El?” he laughed “imagine what they would to their jailer’s sister”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Though the pressure’s hard to take  
It’s only way I can escape  
It seems a heavy choice to make  
But now I am under all

And it’s breaking over me  
A thousand miles down to the sea bed  
Found a place to rest my head  
Never let me go  
Never let me go

\--Florence + the Machine “Never Let Me Go”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I found Astra standing outside of the hologram room, she had her back to me as she stared at the doors, and I wondered what she was thinking, knowing about the hologram and seeing it are two vastly different things

“You lied to me” I began

“How so?” Astra asked, without bothering to take her eyes off the doors

“You said that it was the guards who raped you in Fort Rozz,” I began as I slowly came up to her “but they didn’t did they?” I asked softly as I gently reached up and tentatively touched her shoulder “it was the other prisoners who did. Because you look like Alura, like the woman who put them there in the first place” Astra shook her head

“I didn’t lie,” she began “you just assumed that I meant the guards when I mentioned the…assault” she pointed out

“What about a few days ago, when we first encountered Draper?" I asked "you told J’onn that it was the guards who ‘violated’ the prisoners, not the prisoners themselves” I pointed out, she suddenly whirled around to face me

“The guards did _nothing_ to stop it!!” she roared, suddenly grabbing me by the shoulders and forcing me up against the opposite wall, literally seething with rage “they only stood there, _watching_ , _laughing_ ,” she hissed. She suddenly froze and slowly uncurled her fingers from my shoulders “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she gasped, she slowly backed away from me, holding her hands up like she was surrendering, afraid that she’d hurt me I realized.

She kept walking back until her back hit the other wall; I cringed at the little frightened whimper she let out as she slowly slid to the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs, shaking, trembling, with fear, like she was trying curl in on herself. 

She suddenly looked so…small, like a kid who was trying hide by making themselves as small as possible, looking nothing like the woman I knew and loved, the Astra I knew was strong, defiant, ready and willing to fight instead of flee, nothing like this. I quickly walked over and sat down next to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close “I’m s-s-sorry,” she stammered, burying her face in the crook of my neck, still trembling and shivering “I didn’t…I couldn’t…” she tried

“Hey,” I soothed “it’s all right, you didn’t hurt me, I’m fine” she shook her head

“I would… _never_ …hurt you, Alex” she mumbled against my shoulder

“I know you wouldn’t” I said, she took a slow, shuddering breath

“The guards did nothing to stop it,” she repeated harshly “doesn’t that,” she began, gulping in air “doesn’t that…make them just as guilty as the ones who did rape me?” she demanded, I sighed as I slowly nodded

“It does,” I agreed as she took a breath and seemed to calm down, or at least get a grip on her anger. I nodded to the doors “I wonder if she knew…” I began, hoping that it wasn’t true

“I’ve wondered that as well,” Astra nodded “every day”

“We could…ask” I suggested hesitantly

“If our positions were reversed,” Astra began, sounding a bit more confident again “if it had been Kara who had you imprisoned in a living nightmare, sentenced you to experience what I have, would you really want to know the answer to that question?” I nodded

“I would, yes” Astra nodded grimly

“Then…ask” she grunted, I nodded as I stood up and gently pulled her up with me. I put my hand on the palm scanner, typing in the override code since the doors only open for Kara’s handprint. The doors slid open, Alura’s hologram stood there, waiting for a question

 _“Hello, Astra,”_ it greeted as we walked in _“how can I be of assistance?”_ I gently gripped Astra’s hand as she stared at the hologram

“It’s not really her” I reminded her, she nodded stiffly

“I know,” she said “but…” she trailed off; I nodded as I stared at the hologram, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze

“Yeah, I know” I muttered

“Alura…,” she began, staring at the hologram, she took a breath “did you know? Did you know about the…conditions…in Fort Rozz?”

 _“Fort Rozz was an effective method of incarceration”_ the hologram answered blandly

“But _did_ you know?” Astra gritted out

_“I’m sorry, I do not have that information”_

“Did you know what the conditions were like inside?” Astra demanded, pleaded “did, did you know what the other prisoners would…do…to me?” she whispered hoarsely “did you? Did you know that I longed for the guards to beat me instead of them because at least I knew that they didn’t despise me so their beatings wouldn’t hurt as much?” she took a breath, I squeezed her hand tighter as she continued “did you honestly think that the prisoners wouldn’t notice the fact that I looked like you? Were you so naive as to think that they wouldn’t try to get revenge on you through me?” her voice started to crack “that they would…f-force me down, tear off my clothes, v-violate me, laugh as I demanded, as I begged—I begged---begged them to stop?!”

 _“Warning, this construct is not authorized to discuss this matter”_ I froze at that, I turned and watched as about twenty different emotions flickered across Astra’s face, shock, horror, disbelief, anger

“You did know!!” she snarled “how could you do that to me?!” she demanded “how could you put me in that place knowing what would happen?!! Tell me sister!! TELL ME!!!”

 _“Warning,”_ an alarm started to ring as the lights in the room turned red _“further questioning on this matter will result in this AI’s self-destruction”_ the room started to shake, I turned and hurried over to the controls, shutting off the hologram even as Astra screamed at it in Kryptonese. I turned back to see her sink to her knees sobbing

“Hey,” I rushed over and gathered her up in my arms “hey,” I ran my fingers through her hair “it’s not her” I whispered even as Astra rocked back and forth whispering in Kryptonese, telling the empty air where the hologram had been how much she missed Alura, how, despite everything, she still loved her

“She knew, Alex,” Astra sobbed out in English, her face pressed against my chest “she knew what would happen to me”

“You don’t know that,” I told her firmly “you don’t know why that safeguard’s there, maybe Alura didn’t want Kara to know what had really happened to you, maybe she wanted Kara to go on with her life still thinking of you as her hero, instead of as a terrorist”

“Maybe” Astra spat bitterly, I sighed

“C’mon, let’s just…go home”

“Home,” Astra laughed bitterly “I don’t even know where that is anymore”

“Home is where the heart is” I reminded her, she slowly pulled away to look at me in surprise

“What?”

“It’s an old saying,” I explained “it means that home is wherever you’re at your most happiest” she gently reached out and cupped my cheek

“I…,” she started, she shook her head “you deserve far better than me,” she whispered, looking away “before I met you I was just…dust and ash and shadow, simply going through the motions of life without actually _living_ ,” she laughed “and then I found you, and you, you wonderful, brave, and sometimes _stupid_ woman, you tore away my scars, showed me that there was more to life than simply trying to recreate what had failed once before, and I can never thank you enough for that”

“I can think of one way you can thank me,” I whispered, awed by her speech. I planted a gentle kiss on her forehead “get up off of this floor and come on home with me” she laughed, that bright free sound I’ve got used, the laugh I’ve come expect from her, not cold and bitter

“Gladly” she whispered


	13. Closed Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA-HA!! it's finished, it's finally finished!! I'm free to write other things!!
> 
> OK, I'm done
> 
> I was actually hoping to get this done and posted before the new season premiered, which depending on what time zone you're living in, I kinda did. But anyway, Part Four of What we are is finished, and now on to Part Five, I want to thank you all for your kind comments and hope that you'll comment on Part Five (be nice though, please) and as well as commenting on my other fic Family Matters (please do comment on Family Matters, no one has so far, and it's feeling lonely).
> 
> By the way, in case anyone is wondering, uh no, I'm not following cannon but I am going to do a few more What we are AUs of the rest of the season along with a few more original stories set in this verse, including a bunch of one-shots
> 
> Onwards!!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

And it’s hard to dance with the devil on your back (shake it out)  
Given half the chance would I take any of it back? (shake it out)  
It’s a fine romance but it’s left me so undone (shake it out)  
It’s always darkest before the dawn (shake it out)

\--Florence + the Machine “Shake It Out”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**Astra**

Returning with Alex was far less awkward than it had been previously, the last time I had been tense and even frightened, but this time I felt…relaxed, comfortable, happy just to be with her as we walked to her apartment side by side, although I was still upset after confronting Alura’s hologram, I was no longer as angry as I had been, I was…content, I realized.

I stopped when Alex held out a hand suddenly; she nodded to the door of the apartment, which was ajar

“Stay back” she cautioned, drawing her gun

“Wait,” I tried “it’s only—” but she had already kicked the door open. There was a terrified shriek from inside and then Alex loudly cursed

“Damn it! Winn! Do you _want_ to get shot or something?!” she demanded as I stepped inside. Winn stood by the television shaking as Alex holstered her gun

“Not, not really” he stammered out, taking a breath, Alex scowled at him

“How the hell did you even get in here?” she demanded

“Uh, Kara gave me a key” he explained me as I shut the door, Alex scowled at me

“You could have warned me,” she snarled “you can see through walls”

“I tried, I believe my exact words were ‘wait, it’s only Winn’,” I pointed out “it isn’t my fault that you decided to charge in here like some wild animal without listening to me”

“Yeah, yeah” she muttered

“Winn, why are you here?” I asked, he blinked

“Oh!” he turned to the box he had been unpacking when Alex had burst in “here, got you guys an x-box” he proclaimed proudly, holding up a video game console

“You bought us an x-box?” Alex repeated slowly, Winn shrugged

“Well, yeah, that’s what friends do, right? You guys are…you know…upset, I try to cheer you up” he gestured vaguely

“That’s very sweet of you” I said as Alex nodded as she smiled genuinely at him

“Yeah, it is,” she agreed “we were about to have dinner," she said "you want to stay?” she offered, Winn chuckled

“Believe me, I’d love to,” he said with a sigh “but I can’t, we’re still cleaning up after Indigo’s cyber attack last week at CatCo, so…rain check?” he offered, we both nodded, he grinned “OK, let me just finish hooking this bad boy up and then I’ll be out of your hair” he bent down and busied himself with the wires and cables under the television for a few moments before standing up “OK, you’re all set” he proclaimed

“Hang on,” Alex said “we don’t even have any games” Winn grinned and pulled a video game out of his bag

“Here you go,” he held out the box to me “the new Halo expansion pack”

“Thank you,” I said “I look forward to beating you at it” I added, he chuckled

“You wish” he said as he gathered his things and turned to leave

“Hey, wait up,” Alex called “how much do we owe you?” she asked

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it” Winn shook his head

“Winn, come on, that thing has to cost a fortune” she pointed out

“Yeah, it did,” Winn agreed “would’ve looked nice in my apartment too,” he added a bit wistfully, he shrugged “but, nah, it looks better here” and I suddenly realized what had happened, Winn had originally bought the console for himself, then when he heard about what had happened to me he had kindly given it to us without a second thought simply because he had wanted to cheer us up. I looked over at Alex and saw that she had realized the same thing

“Winn,” she began slowly “you didn’t have to do that”

“Yeah, I did” he answered

“Well, at least let me pay you for the game,” Alex insisted, I gently gripped her arm and shook my head, she sighed and nodded as she walked up to Winn and pulled him into a fierce, firm hug “you’re a really good friend, you know that?” she told him, Winn smiled at her as he pulled away

“Thanks,” he said, he looked up at me as he opened the door “hey, Astra, next week, I’m kicking your butt” he vowed

“Of course you are” I drawled, he grinned and walked out, quietly shutting the door behind me. Alex turned to look at me, clearly stunned

“I can’t believe he did that,” she said softly “I mean, he must’ve saved for weeks to get this thing” I smiled

“A true and worthy friend is as rare as the rarest of jewels” I quoted

“Who said that?” she asked as she sat down on the couch

“Its an old proverb from Krypton,” I explained “remember our relationships, romantic or otherwise, were often more about political alliances and social mobility,” I reminded her as I joined her on the couch, leaning against her “so for someone like Winn to befriend you simply because they liked you as an individual rather than what advantage or privilege you had to offer them were rare”

“He reminds you of someone, doesn’t he?” I nodded “who?” I chuckled

“Believe it or not, but he actually reminds me of Non when we were children” she stared at me wide eyed

“Please tell me that you’ve suddenly developed a twisted sense of humor” I shook my head

“No, when Alura and I were children we had few friends aside from each other, Non was one of those few,” I explained “he was, when he was much, much younger, what you might call a ‘science nerd’, he was always burying himself in one project or another, sometimes for days on end, the only other person I knew with such dedication was Jor-El”

“Clark—I mean Kal-El’s father?” Alex asked, I nodded “wow,” she muttered with a disbelieving shake of her head “I guess people really do change”

“Yes,” I agreed sadly “they do. Non had at one time been my closest companion outside of Alura, for him to become so…twisted, even before Fort Rozz, is still difficult for me to comprehend at times” I explained, Alex reached out and squeezed my hand comfortingly

“Don’t worry,” she said “I really doubt that _Winn_ of all people is going to turn into a megalomaniac one day” I grinned

“I doubt it;” I agreed “he still can’t look me in the eye without sweating somewhat”

“And yet you’re best buds” Alex chuckled

“We are at that,” I agreed, I sighed and leaned against her further “I was just thinking…” I began

“Careful, that’s dangerous” I looked up to see Kara floating outside the window, she grinned and climbed inside

“How long were you out there?” Alex asked, Kara chuckled

“Long enough hear Astra compare Non to Winn,” she explained “which is creepy by the way” she added, I shook my head

“I didn’t say they were exactly alike, merely that Winn reminds me of Non when he was a child” I explained

“Still creepy,” Kara insisted, sitting down on the couch on my other side. She sighed, suddenly looking depressed “I talked to my mother’s hologram,” she began morosely “I asked about the conditions in Fort Rozz”

“And it told you that it wasn’t ‘authorized’ to discuss it” I reasoned, she nodded

“How could she do that? How could she do that to _you_ , Aunt Astra, her own sister?” I sighed and shook my head

“I don’t think she had any other alternative”

“There’s always another way” Kara insisted, I shook my head

“Not this time,” I said as I remembered my trial “do you remember how I told you that Alura never stopped believing in me?” Kara nodded “in order to convince people of the danger to our planet, she needed credibility, something which she would have lost instantly if she had granted me—a confessed terrorist—leniency. She was already taking a substantial risk by presiding over my trial. As my sister, her opinion was no doubt seen as biased by some”

“But that’s why she did it, isn’t?” Kara reason sadly “she needed to show people that she still had…conviction, the…will to do what was necessary for Krypton, what better way to show that then by sentencing your own sister to prison?” I nodded

“I think so” I agreed

“But…she used you,” Kara shook her head “she sacrificed you, put you in that… _place_ , made you go through a living hell, to do it”

“I think that’s _why_ she did it,” I began “lifetime imprisonment in Fort Rozz was still a chance for life nonetheless, and I think she knew that”

“Wait,” Alex spoke up suddenly “are you saying that you think that Alura…put you in Fort Rozz _because_ she was actually trying to _save_ you? Like it was some sort of…lifeboat?” I chuckled

“Obviously not the most brilliant plan ever conceived,” I agreed “but, think about it for a moment,” I suggested “look at how she saved Kara, she put her only daughter in a pod and fired it off to a distant world half a galaxy away, on the hope, the _hope_ , and the advice of her brother-in-law that Kara would survive, that she would find her way with no guidance, no one else of her kind except for her infant cousin,” I shook my head “it’s only slightly _less_ as desperately idiotic as Jor-El’s plan of sending his infant son off alone” I finished. For a long moment we were silent, each of us lost in our own thoughts

“God,” Kara groaned, breaking the silence “this is depressing”

“Agreed” I murmured

“OK!” Alex stood up suddenly “I think we’re all depressed enough for one day,” she busied herself with the video game console “now you two can go on being depressed,” she began “but I’m going enjoy my new x-box and I need a pair of butts to kick at Halo”

“You’re on!” Kara grinned, grabbing one of the controllers. She turned to me, offering me the third controller “aunt Astra?”

“Astra?” Alex asked, I blinked, pulling myself from my thoughts

“I’m sorry,” I apologized “I was merely thinking,” I began “if I knew that, after all the tortures, all the horrors of Fort Rozz, I would someday find you both, that I would find happiness and hope after so long, then…,” I shook my head “I would gladly go through it all again as long as I knew I would find you both” for a moment they both stared at me, stunned, before Alex softly walked up to me, crouching so that we were at eye level

“You really mean that, don’t you?” she asked softly, I nodded

“I do” I said, she chuckled ruefully and reached up and cupped my cheek

“Then you know what this means, don’t you?” she asked, I shook my head, confused

“No” I suddenly saw Kara grin out of the corner of my eye

“Aunt Astra sandwich!” she suddenly cheered, pulling my into a fierce hug. On my other side, Alex grinned and quickly copied Kara, pulling me into an equally firm embrace.

And as I sat there, laughing as I was pressed tightly between what I had begun to think of as ‘my girls’, I realized that, yes, home is indeed where the heart is, and my heart was firmly with them both.

Always and forever

**END**


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